To Tia

Morning everyone! Again this week we have a situation where a caring person is in need of a helping hand herself. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has checked their standing orders or direct debits to us for some strange reason some, completely unbeknownst to our members had just randomly stopped. So for the first time in years we’re going to try and get a few more lovely humans in to join our merry band and boost the coffers to continue our good work. So if you know anyone as brilliant as you? Then send em our way fivehundredreasons@hotmail.com

Loads of love and thank you Rozi for this week’s nomination: 

So - this nomination is for Tia. A young lady from Dorset with three children, with an enormous heart - she's always trying to help others, but she's in some severe financial/health straights herself. I know that anything we could give her would be a drop in the ocean compared to her needs, but Id love to be able to affirm that there is supportive community standing-by.

 I've copy/pasted some of her words here. Happy to put you in touch or tell you any more if needed:

"Hello. My name is Tia, I’m a mum to three small children, aged 8,6 and 4,and we are currently living with my parents in the south of the U.K.

I am 35, and have suffered with complex physical and mental health issues since I was 9 years old. During my teenage years I suffered undiagnosed abdominal pain, that led to food restriction, and struggled with an eating disorder that led to my teeth rotting due to severe erosion.

Aged 21 I was told I’d be lucky to have any teeth by the age of 30.

I have been extremely blessed to have my 3 children amongst losses, but the decades of health issues and dental erosion and pain combined with pregnancies and birth has left me with multiple prolapses. And since I lost my job during pregnancy, I have found it really difficult to find any work that is sustainable and possible for me to maintain whilst caring for my children, extended family, and my own needs.

My husband, who arrived as a refugee, struggles to make enough money, despite working extremely long hours, as his extended family are living in poverty, and we cannot currently afford to live together as a family, let alone find funds to pay for private dentistry.

Living with such extreme dental erosion, on top of physical incapacity and existing mental health disabilities means my quality of life is hugely impacted.

I am unable to eat properly, I have constant ear infections, and intense discomfort, requiring pain relief, and long term TMJ (temporomandibular joint) disorder (jaw pain) which means I live with headaches, eye pain, chronic sinusitis like symptoms, and a sore throat. My glands are raised permanently, and I always feel unwell.

Because of this, my digestion is affected, I cannot chew, so food is less digested, meaning nutrients are not absorbed, and I suffer from vitamin deficiencies that mean I’m exhausted, making my symptoms and oral health worse.

Alongside this. I regularly have nausea, bloating, and problems with elimination due to challenges with digestion, and not being able to consume foods that are too hard, sticky, cold, sour, chewy, or crunchy. This has a negative affect on prolapse due to constipation from digestive issues.

It is incredibly upsetting how routine activities can be affected so much; just breathing cold air can set off intense pain, and being able to enjoy anything without worrying about my teeth feels impossible. Last week, just chewing a vitamin supplement, I found a piece of tooth in my mouth.

This has led to an increase in severe depression and anxiety at times, as in combination with underlying historic challenges around my health, being a full time parent, suffering a traumatic miscarriage, caring for my mum throughout her cancer journey, loss of work, and not having any means of financial independence or security, I feel unable to meet even my basic needs for quality of life.

It is my humble request that if you can help even just a little, I will be truly grateful, and if you cannot, then please do not feel any guilt or worry, as I know how hard it is these days. 

My car went into the garage yesterday and failed it’s MOT. It’s costing me £1000 to pass the MOT, and another nearly £1000 in two weeks time when it goes back to get back up and running safely because of an oil leak that has done such extensive damage underneath that the entire section needs replacing and fixing.

I’ve looked online and second hand car prices, and they are double what I paid for it. The cost of repair is the same as I paid for it three years ago.

As many of you know, this comes on top of multiple myriad other challenges, both with my health, physical and emotional, plus additional needs for the children, being a solo mum most of the time, and just well, you know, life.

I am in debt already, I’m going to have to take out a loan to do my teeth, I’m going to have to cancel physio for my prolapse, and then slowly everything that makes life feel a bit easier has to go too. Plans get cancelled, kids get disappointed, everything just gets squashed.

I am one of the lucky ones. I do have people around me. I will use a credit card and it will be paid back slowly. Many people don’t have that. Many people go to bed in cold houses because they don’t have what I do. The other day my daughter’s pillow was mouldy with damp and my mum came home with a new one. I am lucky. "

Warmly,

Rozi